Humorous payroll quotes

A killer on the payroll isn't good for business — L.A. Larkin. Her Majesty's Secret Service wouldn't have me on the payroll. — Colin Farrell. Ive never supported a payroll tax. — David Dewhurst. I am not a great fan of the payroll tax holiday because I'm nervous about what it does to the future of Social Security.

Humorous Philosophy Quotes. Quotes tagged as "humorous-philosophy" Showing 1-23 of 23. "Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?". ― Carroll Bryant.Apr 15, 2019 - 4.9 out of 5 stars - Shop Payroll Swear Words Annoying Funny Payroll Gift Mouse Pad created by officecelebrity. Personalize it with photos & text or purchase as is!One simple funny prayer that gives thanks for food is, “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!” Another humorous prayer that calls upon the well-known serenity prayer is, “Lord...This Digital Prints item by CelebrityYOUstore has 24 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from United States. Listed on Sep 27, 20234. We were going to do something funny for your work anniversary, but there's nothing funny about working here another year. 5. Your dedication to your job is something we can only aspire to - aspire not to replicate, that is. 6. Happy anniversary from someone you're probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.May these Funny Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. 1. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.". Will Rogers. 2. "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.". Terry ...

Humorous accounting jokes. We’ve compiled a number of the prime humorous accounting quotes and jokes beneath. Go forward and skim them together with your 10 p.m. cup of espresso. Or share them together with your agency if you wish to share the grins—we promise you’ll get some laughs (or just a few chuckles on the very least). …Sep 11, 2020 - Explore KW Workspace's board "Funny Payroll", followed by 6,734 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about payroll, funny, office humor.Never underestimate the power of laughter - it's a powerful form of self-care. 😉. 1. I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener. UNKNOWN. 2. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself. ANNE LAMOTT. 3. I'm staying home today.Funny Retirement Quotes. "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.". - Abe Lemons. "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!". "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!". "Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for.". "Don't act your age in retirement.Motivational quotes for work. "Failure is not the opposite of success: it's part of success.". — Arianna Huffington, businesswoman. "If your dreams don't scare you, they are too small.". — Richard Branson, businessman. "Believe you can and you're halfway there.". — Theodore Roosevelt, president.Jeremy Bentham. Ignorance, Law, Feet. 37 Copy quote. The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency. Henry David Thoreau. Funny, Truth, Consistency. 24 Copy quote. Show source. I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. A real friend or mentor isn't on your payroll. Prince. Real, Real Friends, Mentor. 112 Copy quote. Lack of resources (payroll), time and competing priorities are why so many nonprofits haven't done well. It's that simple. Seth Godin. Business, Simple, Priorities. 8 Copy quote.

14. And somehow, being the superheroes we are, we manage to get it done. 15. When I say we're work besties, I mean work BESTIES. 16. Choosing peace instead of violence today. Our Favorite Memes that Perfectly Summed Up 2020 for HR Pros. One of the few upsides that emerged from the chaos of 2020 was the flood of hilarious memes on our social feeds.Nov 6, 2019 · Amazon.com: I Do Payroll, You Should Be Nice To Me: Workplace Humor Notebook Funny Quote Journal for Payroll Clerks, Managers, Accounts Assistants, Bookkeepers, Accountants etc, Blue Floral Soft Cover: 9781706122104: Jayne Carley Planners: Books Funny sayings about payroll. 1. "Payroll: the only time it's acceptable to be excited about money leaving your bank account." 2. "Payroll: the ultimate reminder that you're working for the weekend." 3. "I'm not saying I love payday, but I do have a special dance I do when that direct deposit hits." 4.A killer on the payroll isn't good for business — L.A. Larkin. Her Majesty's Secret Service wouldn't have me on the payroll. — Colin Farrell. Ive never supported a payroll tax. — David Dewhurst. I am not a great fan of the payroll tax holiday because I'm nervous about what it does to the future of Social Security.

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That will help in the end, and it will mean enhanced payroll.”. – Bud Selig. “You never want to be in a position where you can’t make payroll.”. – Brian Acton. “I think that for the next short period of time, our No. 1 priority is Congress needs to do its work and extend the payroll tax cut.”. – Jack Lew.Happy New Year! Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. ~Jean Paul Richter. A sparkly new year to start fresh on old bad habits. Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring out the false, ring in the true. ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson.Funny, Life Is Like, Bulls. 8 Copy quote. There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence. Michelle Obama. Inspirational, Hard Work, Persistence. 513 Copy quote. Good things come to those who hustle.I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”. “There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.”. “Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works too.”. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if ...Funny quotes about life. "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.". "Life is like a roller coaster—full of ups and downs, and it's over way too fast.". "I'm on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.". "Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out ...

My wife says: May I have the envelope please.”. — Henny Youngman. “Payday came and with it beer.”. — Rudyard Kipling. “Everywhere I go, I will make a good payday. But we got to choose the right opponent and the right time and the right venue.”. — Floyd Mayweather, Jr. “Show me a bad script, and I will show you a big payday.”.4. We were going to do something funny for your work anniversary, but there’s nothing funny about working here another year. 5. Your dedication to your job is something we can only aspire to – aspire not to replicate, that is. 6. Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.Wear a mask, wash your hands, stay safe. Shop unique Funny Payroll Quotes face masks designed and sold by independent artists. Get up to 20% off.Funny Humor Quotes. “When he woke, daylight was coming through the glass floor, and a boy's voice said, "Oh...You are in so much trouble.”. “Marry me. Nay, marriage will cost us precious moments together. Let us make sweet, passionate love right here. Let me bear your children.”.100 Funny Quotes About Cars. "My car is my secret weapon, the only place where my singing voice sounds like Beyoncé's.". "I don't sing in the shower, I sing in my car where the acoustics are way better and the audience is always more appreciative.". "My car is like my own personal music video set, where I can lip sync and dance ...I’m not a people person, but I’m a pin person – I aim to knock them down with a smile. Funny Bowling Quotes for the Guttery Humorous. I’m not a procrastinator; I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things – like perfecting my bowling technique. My wife says I should embrace my mistakes.High-quality Funny Payroll Clerk Quotes durable backpacks with internal laptop pockets for work, travel, or sport. Unique bags for men & women designed and sold by independent artists, printed when you order.Short, long, and surrender. 6. Intaxifcation: The wonderful feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place. 7. Golf is a lot like taxes ...But sometimes the simpler, the better. My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry. Don't you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Life is a ...Performance Review Meme. How accurate is this performance review meme? Payroll Memes. Here are a few payroll memes to get you through the day. LinkedIn …Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings: The best thing about sixty-five is knowing everything, the best thing about retirement is having lots of time to ...I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down ...

Funny sayings about payroll. 1. "Payroll: the only time it's acceptable to be excited about money leaving your bank account." 2. "Payroll: the ultimate reminder that you're working for the weekend." 3. "I'm not saying I love payday, but I do have a special dance I do when that direct deposit hits." 4.

Mar 3, 2015 - Explore Little Miss Haldol's board "Payroll" on Pinterest. See more ideas about payroll, bones funny, work humor.Below are some funny dear salary quotes you can use. Dear salary, how I wish we could spend more quality time together. Dear salary, you are the cornerstone of my happiness. Every day should be payday. Dear salary, please stay with me this month. Dear salary, I miss you so much.Jul 15, 2018 - Explore Elsie Harrison's board "Payroll Humor", followed by 1,819 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, payroll humor, work humor.Funny Retirement Quotes. "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.". - Abe Lemons. "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!". "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!". "Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for.". "Don't act your age in retirement. Marilyn Monroe Quotes. Funny Payroll Quotes. Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Discover and share Payroll Humor Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Introduction. Payroll – it’s the engine that keeps an organization running smoothly, but it can also be a source of endless humor. In this article, we’re bringing you a selection of witty …High-quality Funny Payroll Specialist Greeting Cards designed and sold by artists. Get up to 35% off. Shop unique cards for Birthdays, Anniversaries, Congratulations, and more.Apr 5, 2023 - This Digital Prints item by OfficeArtGuy has 99 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Ashburn, VA. Listed on Dec 26, 2023Gene Perret. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever.". Gene Perret. You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Greg Tamblyn. You gain two new best friends upon your retirement.

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Shop thousands of Funny Work Career Quotes Sayings For Coworker Colleague Department Boss Employee tote bags designed and sold by independent artists. Available in lightweight cotton or premium all-over-printed options.Check out our funny payroll quote selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops.Best Famous Funny Birthday Quotes. "You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book." ―Will Ferrell. "Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning." ―Bob Hope.It’s a spectrum of possibilities!”. “To err is human, but to really mess things up requires a philosophical argument.”. “A philosopher’s brain is like a balloon – filled with hot air and always floating in the clouds.”. “I told my friend a joke about existentialism, but they said it was too deep for them.”.Positive Teamwork Quotes: "Together we can achieve more.". "Unity is strength. When there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.". - Mattie Stepanek. "Success is best when it's shared.". - Howard Schultz. "The best team isn't the team with the best players, but the team that plays best together.".6. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.". - Oscar Wilde. 7. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.". - Thomas Edison. 8. "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.".7. Ice Breaker Jokes for Work Meetings. Ice breaker jokes for work meetings are designed to lighten the mood and ease participants into a more relaxed and open state of mind. These jokes are typically non-offensive, inclusive, and simple enough to be understood quickly.A real friend or mentor isn't on your payroll. Prince. Real, Real Friends, Mentor. 112 Copy quote. Lack of resources (payroll), time and competing priorities are why so many nonprofits haven't done well. It's that simple. Seth Godin. Business, Simple, Priorities. 8 Copy quote.Payroll Software - Automated Salary Calculations; Expenses - Upload Invoice and get Timely Reimbursement; ... Funny HR Quotes. Funny HR quotes can add a touch of humour to the often serious and formal world of human resources. Here are a few examples: 121. "I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will ...Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown. ….

Looking for a laugh? Check out these hilarious payroll quotes that will bring a smile to your face. Get ready to share some laughs with your colleagues! May 23, 2023 · Funny payroll quotes can be used to bring a bit of levity into the workplace. They are great for lightening the mood, reducing stress, and creating a more pleasant atmosphere. It’s also important to remember that humorous statements should not be used to undermine the integrity of payroll processes. Here are a few quotes from students that will surely make you laugh: "I studied so hard for this exam, I think I deserve a PhD in procrastination!". "My brain is like a microwave, it only works when it's reheating something I've already learned.". "I always make sure to bring a pencil to the exam, but I never remember to bring my ...Mar 3, 2015 - Explore Little Miss Haldol's board "Payroll" on Pinterest. See more ideas about payroll, bones funny, work humor.Quotes About Leadership. "To win the marketplace, you must first win the workplace.". - Doug Conant. "The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.". - Max de Pree. "Train people well enough so they can leave. Treat them well enough so they don't have toRisk is a part of God's game, alike for men and nations. Warren Buffett. If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don't care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster. Warren Buffett. There are 309 million people …The best motivational quotes are short, snappy and embolden you to greatness. Scroll through our top picks of motivational quotes to inspire and pick the one that speaks to you the...40 Witty Timesheet Memes That Will Crack You Up. To claim that timesheets cause staff worry is an understatement. That may be why most people wait till the last minute to submit them. All you know is that it means more team notifications, reminder emails, and hilarious memes. Every week, your staff is entertained with fresh memes, freshly produced! Humorous payroll quotes, 2. “In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.”. - Steven Wright. 3. “We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.”. - Peter De Vries. 4. “You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”., 23. "There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower. 24. "If you love them in the morning with their ..., When you become a leader, success is about growing others.". — Jack Welch. "Believe you can and you're halfway there.". — Theodore Roosevelt. "You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too.". — Sam Rayburn. "We rise by lifting others.". — Robert Ingersoll., 2. Sometimes having fun is part of life. "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. " - Reba McEntire. 3. Who needs a reality check now? "Life is not a fairy tale. You lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.". 4., Marilyn Monroe Quotes. Funny Payroll Quotes. Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Discover and share Payroll Humor Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. , But you're not as old as you're going to be.". - Irish Saying. "You're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.". - Catherine Pulsifer. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". - Bob Hope. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own."., Apr 8, 2024 - Explore Beth Rampley's board "PAYROLL HUMOR" on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, payroll humor, work humor., Do you have a favorite HR meme? I perused the internet for the best HR memes and here’s my list of 50. These HR memes are in no particular order — we just think they are great. I divided them into categories for easier viewing. Enjoy! Best HR Memes About Employees. Do you love your fellow employees? Check out these funny HR memes about them:, May 23, 2023 · They learn to act their wage. 31. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had six months to live. “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?” “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor. “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?” “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”. 32. , Funny Quotes. Job Humor. Hr Humor. Work Humor [Image - 271640] | What People Think I Do / What I Really Do. kduby HUMAN RESOURCES You're Fired! CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES YOUR BOSS SAYS YOU REFUSE TO DO YOUR JOB. ... Payroll. Mom Humor. Baybie V. Funny Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday Meme. Birthday Wishes For Nephew. Happy ..., 1. “The hardest thing in the world is to understand the income tax.”. — Albert Einstein. 2. “Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income” — fictitious character in Mad magazine Alfred E. Neuman. 3., Born from a desire to simplify the search process, we provide quick payroll service quotes without the hassle of meeting multiple sales representatives. In an era where we can instantly get quotes for flights, cars, and insurance, it only made sense to extend that convenience to payroll services., High quality Funny Payroll Manager-inspired gifts and merchandise. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours., This just in, it's the end of the month. When you are happy that you can finally say goodbye to this month. Brace yourself, month end is coming. Deadlines are no fun, but gotta get it done! Here are motivation memes if you need that extra push. The month's end is here, enjoy the funny memes about last minute shenanigans., 6 Inspiring Quotes From 'Trading Places'. ‍If you need some motivation or encouragement, this film has got some great insights and thought-provoking lines even though it is of the comedy genre. Check out this list of six inspiring lines from the movie. 21. "Religion is a good thing, I say, taken in moderation.", Aug 17, 2016 - Explore Emma Jackson's board "Payroll jokes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about jokes, work humor, bones funny., Whether you're a payroll professional or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, these funny payroll quotes are guaranteed to brighten your day. So next time you're feeling a little down at work, just remember these words of payroll wisdom and let the laughter begin! Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious Payroll Quotes!, Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”. – Helen Keller. “ You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. – Zig Ziglar. “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”. – Mark Twain. “ The world of the future is in our making. Tomorrow is now.”., Jan 21, 2016 - It's good to laugh at yourself. See more ideas about humor, payroll humor, bones funny., Here we present a small collection of funny timesheet memes that you can use as reminders for employees, a motivator to submit your timesheets on time or an excuse to laugh at yourself. 😁. Check these memes out to infuse some joy into timesheet management and make it at least slightly less daunting. And in case you want to make it even ..., 34 Accounting Jokes & Comics: The Best Accounts Payable Humor. Ian McCue | Senior Associate Content Manager. October 14, 2020. The long nights spent …, Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings: The best thing about sixty-five is knowing everything, the best thing about retirement is having lots of time to ..., Jul 15, 2018 - Explore Elsie Harrison's board "Payroll Humor", followed by 1,819 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, payroll humor, work humor. , Payroll Manager Mug. $9.99 $14.99. Princess of Payroll Funny Job Title Mug. $9.99 $14.99. I Love Payroll Humorous Payroll Mugs. $9.99 $14.99. Payroll Is My Life Funny Quote Mug. $9.99 $14.99. funny., Happy New Year! Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. ~Jean Paul Richter. A sparkly new year to start fresh on old bad habits. Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring out the false, ring in the true. ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson., Aug 17, 2016 - Explore Emma Jackson's board "Payroll jokes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about jokes, bones funny, work humor., Discover and share Famous Payroll Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Toggle ... Famous Quotes. Payroll Quotes. Funny Paycheck Quotes Quotes About Paychecks Funny Quotes About Payroll Payroll Service Quotes Work Paycheck Quotes Famous Cute Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein ..., Like. “Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child., eat sleep payroll repeat, payroll, payroll job, payroll officer, payroll specialist, payroll manager, hr payroll, human resource payroll, payroll analyst, payroll career, payroll administrator, payroll processor, payroll director, payroll associate, funny payroll quotes, funny work career quotes sayings for coworker colleague department boss ..., High quality Funny Payroll Quotes inspired Baby T-Shirts by independent artists and designers from around the world. Children's clothes on Redbubble are expertly printed on ethically sourced apparel and are available in a range of colors and sizes. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours., We are pretty awesome. [5] The hard “fax” are that we’re going to miss you around here but wish you all the best. as in “the hard facts are…”. I heard you’re being replaced by a water cooler. [6] Farewell. Someone is really going to miss you. But it is not going to be me!, Check out our payroll humor selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our bookkeeping templates shops. Etsy. ... Payroll Manager Coworker Gift Idea, Annoyingly Funny Quotes, Pet Peeves Poster, Humor (247) $ 7.82. Add to Favorites Payroll Princess PRINT, Payroll Office Decor, Funny Payroll Clerk Manager Gift Present ..., David Letterman on Halloween. Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve. —David Letterman.